A Little Girl lost
by TheBlackHand724
Summary: Beckett shows up at Castle's door in the middle of the night bruised, and battered, and regretting the choices she's made. A one shot that might become a side project if I get a good response. Please R&R, M for safty, TBH


-1Beckett shows up at Castle's door in the middle of the night bruised, and battered, and regretting the choices she's made. A one shot that might become a side project if I get a good response. Please R&R, TBH

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. ABC does.

A little girl lost.

AN: I wrote this story after seeing "food to die for" and hearing roomers that Kate was going to have to make a choice. For some reason this whole situation reminded me of the end of last season of NCIS with the Michael Rifkin situation. Everyone hated the guy, but Ziva stood up for him until it came out that he was responsible for a lot of bad shit. I thought what if they ended this season of Castle with a fight, and Kate picking Demming? What if the next season started with Kate showing up at Rick's door in the middle of the night? What IF…

Detective Kate Beckett heeled boots clicked as she paced back and forth in front of Castle's door. What was taking him so long to answer the door she thought as she played with the belt of her red wool coat. Then she looked down at her father's watch. 3:22 AM. That would explain some of the delay. Then she thought about what would happen if he looked through the pep hole, and decided not to let her in. They hadn't talked in eight months, and the last time she saw him she told him he was a lying, man whoring, bastard. That last thought made her cringe. She didn't mean it, but by the time she thought about what she said it was too late. He wouldn't take her calls, and even Alexis told her to stop calling. The door was wrenched open, and Rick stood in the doorway wearing red flannel pajama pants with little Santa hats, and a faded Green Lantern t-shirt. His hair was sticking up at odd angels, and he looked pissed. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Do you have any idea… Oh my god Kate what happened to your face?" he asked as he approached her and lifted her chin to see her face in the light of the hall way scorch. "Did that bastard do this to you?" he asked with an edge to his voice that made her flinch.

"Yes." she said softy.

"I'll kill him!" he growled.

"You can't, he's already dead." she said as she collapsed against his chest. He looped his arm around her shoulder and helped her to the couch.

"Kate what happened?" he asked softly.

"I…Don't. where to begin. I shot him. He beat me, and I'll pull my gun, and we fought for it and I shot him…" she was getting hysterical.

"wow. Slow down. I find that it's always easier to start from the beginning. What happened?" he asked.

"Well I guess it started the week before our fight…

Kate sat at her desk after ten. Tom told her he was running down leads, so he call to cancel their date. Castle was sitting next to her as she did paper work and it was starting to get on her nerves. "What?!" she asked.

"So you and Tom. Is that serious?" he asked playing with her stapler.

"Yeah, I guess. He's a good man. He helps underprivileged children, and he's a good cop. What else could I want? He's a good choice, a safe choice. Why?" she asked looking up from her work.

"It's just I have a bad feeling about him. I don't know what it is, but there just something about him that…" he was cut off by Beckett's withering glare.

"Okay Castle that's enough out of you. The only thing wrong with Tom is that your jealous of him." she said with triumph.

"No, it's not that. It's just the way he casually asks if he can help by putting word out on the street about what we're looking for. He works robbery for god sakes, it's not like he works for vice. Who does he know on the streets? Some low level purse snatcher? And the way he's so smug about it just rubs me the wrong way." he said with honest curiosity, and just a hint of frustration.

"You really are jealous of him aren't you. It's eating you alive that he can provide the kind of help you think only you can provide. Next thing your going to say is that he doesn't work with poor kids." she was getting angry now.

"Do you really know that he works with poor kids?" he asked. She shot out of her seat and pointed to the elevator.

"Out! Right now! It's bad enough you follow me around all day now your persecuting a good man. I wont have it. Get out." She yelled at him.

"I'm just looking out for a friend…" he tried to defend.

"I! Said! Get! Out!" she grounded out through her clinched jaw.

He sighed and stood up. He took his jacket off the back of the chair and walked to the elevator. Before he stepped on to it he turned to her. "I just have a gut feeling about this. I get the same vibe from him as I do from killers…"

"That's rich, next thing your going to say is it's cop's intuition." She said with a laugh. She saw the fight go out of his eyes after that last shot at him. She knew that if there was one thing that hurt Castle the most, it was reminding him he was not a real cop. He nodded his head in acceptance and hit the button, and the doors closed. She took her seat in victory. That should keep him away for awhile.

She was right he didn't return to the bull pen for a week. His absence was felt by Ryan and Esposito. They asked about him constantly over the week. In fact she walked in on a conversation between the two in the break room. She just got the tail end of it, but it was enough to know what was said.

"I just wonder what she did to him." said Ryan.

"Probably told him he's not a cop again. I don't think it's right for her to say stuff like that. He might not carry a gun and a badge, but I know he would always have my back…" Esposito trailed off at the sight of Beckett walking over to them.

"What are we talking about guys?" she asked sarcastically. What she didn't except was a reply for either of them.

"We were talking about the missing member of our team, and the fact that if he was here we might have more theories about the case." said Esposito. Ryan must have gain courage form seeing his partner talk back to her because he added.

"Yeah, Castle always came up with the best ideas."

"We closed cases before him and we can do it again without him. Now get back to work." she told them as she walked back to her desk she herd Esposito say, "ever science she started dating Demming she's been a real bitch to us." That hurt, but the only thing she could think of doing was showing them just how bitchy she could be.

Two days later Castle walked in to the bullpen with a look of victory. He sat down in the chair next to her desk and waited for her to look at him. When she looked up form her paperwork she asked "What?" she was not all that pleased to see him, but if he was here to help with the case maybe they might catch the guy who shot there vic.

"I have proof. I have a source inside Internal Affairs that told me that Demming might be a dirty cop…" he got no further because she jumped out of her seat.

"That's it, I want you out. I don't care if you're friends with the mayor, you are never to set foot in this percent again! Do you understand me!?!" she yelled. All sound stopped and every one looked at them. He stood up.

"But I have proof that he's not the guy you think he is…" He tried to argue his case, but she stopped him with a laugh.

"This is coming form an immature, Man whoring, Bustard like you. I said get out."

He looked like a man defeated, but when he tried to open his mouth she called for the uni's to take him outside. As he was dragged out of the bullpen he had a sad look on his face. He was hurt beyond words. She called him a Bastard. She had never used that word before. It was off limits, and going too far. Before the doors of the elevator closed he looked at her. "Good bye Kate." by the time she thought about it he was gone. She looked at Ryan and Esposito, but they couldn't meet her eye's. In fact Esposito look ashamed to know her. He said something about running down a lead, and they left. She sat at her desk, and looked down at her hands. They were trembling. He said good bye she thought, he never said good bye unless he was planning to never see someone again. She took her cell phone into the break room and tried to call him but he wouldn't pick up. After the third call she gave up. When she got back to her desk Tom was sitting in Castle's seat.

"I heard that you had it out with the tagalong." he said with a victorious smile.

Kate looked up at Castle sitting next to her on his couch. "From that day on we started to see more of each other. He was good to me, always taking me out, or bringing food to the bullpen and sitting with me. I was happy. Then June rolled around and Naked Heat came out. I can't believe you wrote Nikki as a total bitch. I mean I dissevered it but, you ruined the franchise."

"I just couldn't write Nikki any more, it was too painful. I was glad the book flopped. It meant I didn't have to write any more of them." He said with a shrug.

"but you are writing a new book right?" she asked.

"No I'm done playing around with my computer. I'm working under an FBI field agent as a trainee, but over the summer I'm going to Quantico to get my gun and badge. I'm going to be a profiler." he said with pride.

"Wow. You know if you wanted to solve crimes all you had to do was come back to the percent." she said with a laugh, but she stopped when he stayed stone faced.

"It's not a joke Kate. I've found something I'm good at, and it actually makes a difference." he said seriously. "so you were trying to explain to me why you're here?" he asked impatiently.

Kate took a big breath to collect her thoughts. "I guess the next big thing happened in July. I was sitting in the morgue talking to Lanie when she said something I was not expecting…

"So are we still on for this Saturday?" asked Lanie as she cleaned up her tools.

"I can't go with you this Saturday. Tom said we where going to go out to dinner that night." Kate said as she sat down on one of the unoccupied steel tables.

"So your going to stand me up on my birthday for some guy?" Lanie asked hurt.

"Oh my god I forgot all about that. Im so sorry Lanie, I'll just call him and tell him I can't go." said Kate flippantly.

"You know what? Don't bother I'll just go out with my other best friend. Oh wait, I don't have one. Did you know that everyone came by to wish me a happy birthday? Everyone except you." she said as she tried to look busy.

"I'm sure that not every one…" She was cut off by Lanie turning around with tears in her eye's.

"Everyone. Hell even Castle sent a card and an expensive bottle of champagne. You know I liked you better when you were pining after the writer boy. At least you still talked to me then." said Lanie as she turned away for Kate.

"You know you could try to get to know him…" Kate tried but Lanie stopped her.

"I don't want to know him. I get the asshole vibe from him. And I don't like the way he treats you. I can't be friendly with the man that treats my girl like an object." said Lanie

"He does not treat me like an object." Kate all but screamed back.

"Okay, when was the last time you made a decision? Anything at all. When was the last time you picked the place you were going to, or the time. Pretty soon he's going to tell you what to wear, and you'll put it on, and say yes dear. What happened to you girl? Where's the fight you had?" Lanie through up her hands in frustration. "You know what? This is it. I don't want to see you anymore out side of work. I would like it if you left now please." she said as she gestured to the doors Kate picked up her bag and walked out. That was the last conversation she had with her best friend that didn't involve a dead body.

Kate was crying now, thinking about all the people she lost was too much. Rick stood up and got her a bottle of water. She took a sip and played with the label.

"I talked to Lanie that night you know?" he said softly.

"No I didn't, what did she say?" Kate asked.

"She called me up, and told me about the fight you guys had. She was upset about losing your friendship. I let her talk her self out and then I told her that I couldn't do any thing about it. She was mad at me. She told me that I had to rescue you from Demming. I told her you made your choice and that you're a big girl. You can look after yourself. She called me a cowered, but I said I was done chasseing after the great Kate Beckett. She hung up on me, but she showed up to our weekly porker game…"

"What poker game?" she demanded.

"I host a weekly poker game for my friends down at the station. Lanie is a regular. So are Esposito, Ryan, and the captain. Sometimes Karpowski, and pealmitter Come…" he trailed off at the look of betrayal.

"You've been having get-togethers, and you didn't invite me? " She looked hurt.

"Actually it was an unspoken rule that if they came they never talked about you. Until a half an hour ago I thought I would never talk to you again. So if they came you were an off limits topic. Lanie tried to bring you up but Esposito always told her to knock it off." he said not looking at her.

"So the very thought of me put you off? What am I, a leper?" She asked.

"Well the last time I talked to you, you called me a man whoring, bastard. It wasn't the words, so much as the look in your eye's. you meant it, I know you did. So yeah, you were an off limits topic. I never thought I would look at you again let alone talk to you. You destroyed me, Kate. I didn't leave my house for a month after that fight. Alexis still might hate you." he said as if to explain.

"So I'm the dark mark in your life?" she asked as tears fell down her cheeks.

"Yes, and no. the time we spent together solving cases was the best. It showed me my true calling in life, but the way you looked at me when you told me to leave haunts my nightmares, I loved you Kate. But I guess I didn't have a badge so I didn't count as dating material. The great Kate Beckett only dates men with badges." he trailed off with a sigh, from the way he said that last sentence she knew he had been holding that in since the day of their fight.

She accepted the harsh words for what they were, she knew they were the things he needed to say to make his pain go away. The hurt left over from days past. She knew he didn't even feel that way any more but they were the words he loaded in to the cannon that day of there fight, but never got to use. Now when he used them the gun powder was too old to do much damage. He looked at her, and she saw the apology on the tip of his tongue, but she held up a hand.

"I deserve that. You don't need to feel sorry, about saying it. I have caused a lot of harm with the decisions I've made these past months, and I need to hear it. It's like at any intervention, the people I've wronged need to let me see the pain I've caused." she said softly.

"But it wasn't all your fault. It was Tom's. from the look of your face I can tell that you've been hurt too. So tell me about it." he said just as softly.

"I guess the next big event happened in August. Tom asked me to move in with him. He didn't let me take too much stuff, because he said it might clash with his apartment…" she stopped talking when she saw the look Castle was giving her.

"Wait he only let you. Did you just use those words? What the hell happened to you Kate? The Kate Beckett I knew would have told him to go fuck himself. Why the hell were you going along with this guy?"

"I thought I was in love. I thought that if I loved him I could make sacrifices for the relationship. I never felt like that before. I mean he was my equal. He was a driven cop, and he was just like me. The job came first." she shrugged.

"Remember what I told you about finding some one that's your opposite? You remember Ying-Yang." he said.

"I remember, I just thought it was a bad pickup line." she replied.

"It was, but it's still sound advice. So what happened next?" he asked.

"I think the next thing that happened was the laughing…

Kate walked into the precinct and the cold late September air followed her in. she walked over to the elevator only to stop short when she saw the out of order sign. "Just great." she said in a huff. She turned to the stairs and walked up. She stopped on the third floor, it was Tom's floor. She stuck her head around the door to see if he was in and one of the uni's saw her. Before she could say anything he started to laugh. She was confused, but she brushed it off. She walked across the row of desks to see if Tom was in the robbery break room. He hadn't come home last night so she figured that he fell asleep on the couch like she did so many times before. As she crossed the room more people stared to laugh, and/or whisper to each other. When she saw he wasn't there she hurried up to her floor. No one said any thing on this floor. She wondered what that was all about. She found Esposito in the break room and asked him if he heard anything about it.

"No boss. What do you mean laughed at you? " he was curios.

"When I walked in to the robbery office they laughed at me. Like I'm some kind of joke." she was mad now.

"Maybe it's your arrest record?" he asked with an edge to his tone.

"No, I don't think so. I mean I know my numbers are down but it's not like I let the killers go. Every detective has slumps." she defended.

"Do you want me to ask around?" he asked.

"Yes." she ordered.

"Will do boss." he then walked out of the room.

"We didn't find out until Ryan asked one of his friends in vice about it in November. Apparently I was a laughing stock. It seamed like everyone in robbery knew he was cheating on me, but me. The great detective Beckett, can't even see her boy friend steeping out on her. It was at this point that I regretted going on the pill so we didn't have to use condoms. I felt dirty. When I asked him about it, he denied cheating on me. He said that it was a roomer made up to break us up. But I started to feel uncomfortable with him. He started to get more ruff with me in bed. More demanding. He liked to use his handcuffs in bed. I hated it, but I thought he was my one. He even backed off for a while when I told him I felt uncomfortable. We had thanksgiving at my dad's house. Dad hated Tom from the moment he laid eye's on him. It was at this point that I asked Ryan to look into Tom. I would have asked Esposito, but by this point my arrest record was in the toilet, and I could see it in Esposito's eyes. He lost almost all respect for me. The case with the little girl found in the dumpster got to him I think. The fact that the case is still open tells me that he hasn't given up on it yet."

"He hasn't, I'm helping him run theory on it. Samantha Rodriguez, 9 years old, found in a dumpster by the trash men. Signs of sexual assault, but no traces of DNA. Her arms and legs show signs of rope burns. I still think it's the step-father, but he has a solid alibi. I've done nothing but look over that case file for the last three weeks in my free time." he said with a sigh. He looked like he gained ten years in as many seconds.

"That would explain where he is all day when he's not working a crime scene with me. So Ryan finds out form his contact in I.A. that Tom is under investigation for ties to organized crime…" she stops talking when she sees no reaction for Rick. "You knew! You Knew and you didn't tell me!?"

"I was trying to. The day I came to you, I heard form a friend in the I.A. office that they where going to look in to him. The investigation hadn't started yet but it was in the works. I tried to tell you but you wouldn't listen to me. Then after you kicked me out I said fuck it, she doesn't want me around. She can figurer it out on her own. I Had Esposito watching him. If he hit you or if Javier thought you where in trouble he was supposed to step in. But when this case came we drooped everything to solve it. Finding the killer of an innocent little girl was a higher priority then making sure you were having a happy love life. And Javier has lost all respect for you as a cop. God Kate you were the best, what the hell happened to you. He said that after running down the leads you gave up on the case. There's a part of me that's ashamed of you Kate. Did you see the look on that girl's face. She died alone, scared, and in pain. I cried when I saw the pictures. May be now that the prick is dead you can get your shit together and solve a case for god sakes. The only case you guy's solved in the past six months, where so easy that Kelly could have solved them!" he was mad now. Mad at Kate. Mad at himself. Mad at the guy that killed little Samantha. He stood up form the couch and started to pace.

"Who the hell is Kelly?" Kate demanded. There was a commotion upstairs and Jordan Shaw stood on the landing to the bedrooms, in a blue bath robe. "What the fuck is she doing here?!" Kate yelled as she shotout of her seat, and was standing in Rick's personal space.

"Richard, What the hell is Nikki Heat doing in our living room?" Jordan asked. Walking down the stairs to stand at the bottom. Kate saw Jordan had a Glock in her hand pointed at the floor.

"I asked him first! What's she doing here Castle?" demanded Kate.

"I live here. Now kindly tell me what your doing in our living room?" said Jordan, the threat clearly in her voice told Kate that if she said something the profiler didn't like she could end up shot.

"I came here to… um, I. I'm not sure why I came here." Kate said shyly as she took a step back from Rick.

"Let me help you with that. From the bruises and the way your favoring your left side. You had a fight with Mr. Wonderful, and you either broke up with him or he's dead… from the way your face twitched I take it you walked away form the fight and he didn't. so now that your free you thought, let me go hook up with my fall back guy. Well I hate to break it to you Nikki, he's taken. Has been for a few mounts now. So I think it's time for you to take the pity party show on the road." said Jordan as she advanced on Kate. Rick reached out and stopped Jordan.

"No. Jordan she needs friends right now. I think it's time to forgive. What happed tonight Kate?" Rick asked as he sat on the couch and pulled Jordan down next to him. He also took her gun and put it on the end table.

"Um. I didn't come here for… I'm not sure." Said Kate sounding lost. She took a seat on the opposite the couple.

"Let me help you. You got into a fight with that asshole. I'm guessing some one, most likely you, grabbed your gun. In the struggle you shot him…" Jordan stopped talking and let Kate finish. She wanted to see where this was going, but if Ms. Nikki fucking Heat thinks she can just waltzes it to her life and take her Richard she had anther thing coming. I will shoot this bitch.

"Um, I uh. I called Ryan. He called in the ambulance, and the uni's." she said in a mechanical voice. "they took me to the hospital, and had me looked over. I'm mostly fine, just some bruising and a split lip. They let me go around midnight. They took me back to the precinct, and I gave my statement. They let me go at about one. I… don't remember what happened after that I just remember standing in front of Rick's door." she trailed off looking lost.

"so your telling me that the first thing you did after being released was to come knocking at our door in the middle of the night. What did you expect? Did you think that Richard was going to open the door, and see your face, and what? Carry you off to his bed and, and make love to you? Did you think you would just flash a shy smile and have him falling over him self to do your bidding?" Jordan asked sarcastically. She would have kept going but Rick put his arm around her.

"Jordan…" Rick said softly.

"No she can't do this. She can't come here and undo all the work we've done. Your life is with us now, Me, you, Alexis, and Kelly. What will we tell the girls? Daddy let the bitch back…" Jordan stopped talking when Rick tightened his embrace.

"Jordan, please stop. She's been through a lot tonight. I think we should sleep on it, and we can talk about it tomorrow. Okay?" he asked softly. He turned to Kate. "it's close to five in the morning we all need sleep. Kate take Mothers room, she of with Chet, it's the last door on the left." he said softly as he helped her out of the couch and led her to the stairs. She hobbled up and walked down the hall. Rick turned to Jordan still sitting on the couch.

"Just so you know Richard, I found the ring." said Jordan. Rick acted coy.

"What ring?" he said in a playful voice.

"The engagement ring you bought me." she said with a smile.

"How did you…?" He was stunned. He though he hid it well.

"I'm a trained investigator Rick, how do you think? But that's not the point, I'm telling you that I know you planed on proposing, and if you change your mind because of Nikki Heat up there I will kill her and you. Do you understand me Richard? I love you and I'm not going to let you break up our home for that… That bitch!" She finished with a yell. Rick rushed over to her and sat down. He threw his arms around her and hugged her close.

"I'm not leaving you for her Jordan. I love you, and the girls already act like sisters. I was going to ask on Christmas morning, and I still am. She is not going to steal me away from you. Besides that's not Nikki Heat up there, hell that's not even the Kate Beckett I fell in love with. That girl upstairs is just a lost little girl, and I think I need to help her find her way. I've never seen her look so fragile. It's not right. Maybe if I help her she can go back to being the great detective she once was. You know I modeled my style of solving murders off her." he said as he lay back on the couch and pulled Jordan on top of him.

"Is that why you insist on using the white board?" she asked with a smirk.

"yes, it helps me think. But the thing she thought me was that every body is a life cut short, and it's up to us to find that person some justness. I hope she can get her self together. She is a powerhouse detective when she tries." he said as he rubbed her back and nuzzled his head in her hair.

"oh god what are we going to tell the girls?" she said worried.

"We'll tell them that an old friend needs help, and she came to us for support. I think they'll understand." he replied, as he kissed the top of her head. Jordan sighed and breathed in deep.

"I hope she knows what she lost out on. You're good man Rick. And a great father. Science we started going out you've looked after Kelly and me. We never need to worry about anything. I love you Rick." she said as she moved up his body a little and kissed him softly.

"And I love you, now why don't we move up to our bedroom?" he asked suggestively. But she buried into him closer.

"but I'm comfortable here." she said in a little girl pout. He laughed and pulled the throw off the back of the couch and spread it out over them.

"That's better. Love you." she mumbled softly before he heard soft little snores. He lay back and tried to think. He loved Kate, well he loved Kate once but after she picked Tom he gave up on her. You can only chase someone for so long after all. He thought. He then looked down at Jordan. He loved Her more than he ever loved Kate. From the time she called him seven months ago asking if he had connections at York Prep. She wanted her daughter to get in but they said there was a wait list. He talked to the dean and she was on the roster. After that Kelly and Alexis became fast friends. The two of them plotted to get their parents together. It started with them bumping into each other at restaurants, or Alexis dragging Rick to a PTA meeting that Jordan showed up to. At a certain point Rick and Jordan saw through the master plan, but at that point it was too late. Rick was falling in love. It didn't take too much more prompting from Alexis to get him to ask Jordan out on a date.

fast-forward three months to Jordan and Kelly moving in with them. Rick never thought he would put himself out there again, now he didn't know what he would do with out his girls. He pulled Jordan closer and rubbed her back. He would never leave Jordan, and the girls, but he needed to help Kate. He didn't know why but, he needed to set things right with her. He hated to see the lost look in her eyes. It's like his told Jordan. That was not Kate Beckett that was a lost little girl. He looked out the windows, and saw the sun light spread through the night sky. In a few hours Alexis and Kelly will be home and then the fireworks going to fly again. He sighed and tried to get a couple more hours sleep.

AN: I Know, I'm a bad man for making a non-Caskett fic. But the fact remains that a guy can only put himself out there so much, and if he gets shot down enough he'll stop paying attention, and Rick has put himself out a lot for her. Plus I'm a huge fan of the Rick/Jordan ship, even if there is only like three fics out there for it.

I don't know what it is about them but there was this unexplainable chemistry between them in those two episodes. Plus I think it has a lot to do with me thinking Dana Delaney is hot. I think Stana is cute, but Dana is a total cougar, and that feisty attitude she has with Kate is fuel for fantasy. Plus women in business suites are just plane hot. I think that's why I like the flowers for her grave so much.

Now as I said in the summery if I get any kind of positive feedback for this story I'm planning to write a companion piece to it that covers the Rick/Jordan romance up to the night of this fic, and what happens next.


End file.
